Introduction:
It is a sad, but true fact that many of us transitioned from childhood to puberty with a cloud of shame, confusion, disgust, even abuse, hanging over us. Too often, we were given the message that our feelings and desires (many of which were triggered by very normal physiological changes in the maturing female body) were somehow wrong and immoral. Our parents, our teachers, our religious leaders and other significant people who were around us during our tumultuous teenage years were simply passing on what they believed to be true.
Here is what I wish my Mother could have said to me when I was blossoming into my Sexuality, and here is what I, as a CRONE, now say to my twelve year old Self who still lives inside me.
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Hello (12 year old) Barbara,
This is your Adult (well, CRONE actually) Self speaking to you.
At 12 years old, you are beginning to move into a very beautiful and remarkable Awakening of your Sexuality. Your breasts are beginning to develop and take form. The flow of estrogen in your body is increasing. You are likely becoming aware of unfamiliar feelings of sexual desire. You may start feeling some unexpected and thrilling sensations in your genitals, accidentally discovered as you are doing some Yoga Poses or some other exercise, or perhaps they will show up when somebody you like looks at you in a certain way. You may start to feel a growing, unexplainable attraction to other people (maybe boys, maybe girls, maybe both, maybe classmates, maybe older people like teachers). Any and all feelings of attraction are totally normal at this stage in your life. You may, at times, feel confused or uncertain about how to react to these attractions. I'm here, always available to listen to you and to help you sort through your confusion. Just know that these feelings of desire and attraction are a really healthy sign that you are awakening sexually, that you are moving more fully into your Goddess Self.
This is a hugely transformative awakening that is happening to you. You are in that beautiful transition from childhood to womanhood. Even though you are still a very young teenager, your sexual urges and desires and potential are quickly morphing into that of a mature, fertile woman.
This can be a tough, confusing, thrilling, exciting time as your body undergoes rapid changes, your hormones flow with an intensity that you have not known before, and powerful and chaotic emotions that you are probably feeling for the first time, begin to swirl around in you.
Welcome to Your Blossoming Sexuality
I, as the adult and as a woman who loves and cares deeply for you, want to welcome you into your blossoming Sexuality. I love, honor and respect the woman that you are becoming.
Everything that you do feel and will feel, in all its intensity and overwhelming newness, is completely normal. These are normal physiological changes that happen in every young, healthy body around this time. It is a time to rejoice, a time to celebrate, a time to explore and a time to welcome your rapidly changing inner landscape and rapidly changing physical body. You are in a beautiful and dynamite transition time.
Emotional Highs and Lows
You may feel many emotions during this time -- maybe anger and rebelliousness, Maybe joy and warmth. There may be times of utter confusion, maybe even despair, possibly inter-woven with extreme excitement and intense desire. For sure, the teen-age years can be a roller coaster of emotional highs and lows.
Your first period, your first bleeding, is a signal of your arrival into womanhood. All the women around you will celebrate and honor and pamper you as you transition into this beautiful and fertile time of your life. The women -- your mother, your aunts, your older cousins -- will all dance for you and sing for you. You will be honored and respected and protected and cared for as you move into your Sacred Bleeding Time.
Barbara, you are totally and completely honored and loved and respected. ALL that you are feeling, ALL that you are experiencing, are welcome and accepted.
Teenage Barbara, you are in a safe circle of women now. We hold you in deep love and respect. We are here for you. Always.
May the teenager within each of us be healed and loved.
May all teenage girls be held in love and respect. May all teenage girls be safe and protected.
May the Blossoming Sexuality of ALL be always treated as Sacred and Beautiful.
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